Saturday, April 23, 2011

Panic-Inducing Video Game Enemies

♪ "There's no way to destroy him,
Let him bounce right out the door..." ♪
As I was poking around for a cherub image to decorate my Doom 4 post the other day, I came across this dusty old Cracked article:

The 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies of All Time."

I’m in total agreement with the top three:
  • Evil Otto from Berzerk. Invincible bouncing smiley face. Time to GTFO. 
  • Poison Head Crabs from Half-Life 2. That rattlesnake/shriek sound put me in a blind panic, firing wildly until my clips were empty.
  • Sinistar from Sinistar. The arcade game shouted "BEWARE, I LIVE" and made me drop my Sprite as I walked past it one time. What an asshole.
    As a courtesy to Cracked, however, I am filling in some glaring omissions in their list:

    Berserkers from Gears of War

    When this blind beast burst through the wall, I thought I was through with the game. Way too tense.

    They set it up well with a cutscene showing the berserker breaking away from its captors, and then disemboweling one of your men. And just before it appears, you get the news that your weapons won't work against it.

    I know this wasn't programmed into the game, but the first time that thing charged at me, I somehow I made Marcus Fenix run around screaming and waving his hands in the air like a ninny for two whole minutes.

    Super Mutant Behemoths from Fallout 3

    Video games have conditioned me not to fear creatures that are many times my size. I figure if they're in the game, I can beat them. Well, the super mutant behemoths are no different, but the way the first one mopped the floor with me taught me to panic when I ran across one by accident. Like when I ran headlong into one in the Capitol Rotunda (how the hell did he get in there anyway?)...such heroic backpedaling!

    Bonus points: The first behemoth outside of Galaxy News Radio was wearing armor made of shopping carts and wielding a fire-hydrant club.

    Cacodemons from Doom

    I've played Doom so many times over the years that these guys don't hit me like they once did, but I can still remember the first time I rounded a corner and ran straight into one of these floating horrors. It made that rattlesnake noise and I jerked sideways in my chair to avoid it. Good times.

    It's a total rip-off of the Dungeons & Dragons Beholder, but let's face it: a blood red one-eyed floating orb with a maw full of razor-sharp teeth is just plain terrifying.

    * * *
    So, what are the glaring omissions in my list?

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