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Review: Army Painter Colour Primer Matt Black

July 27, 2023

Army Painter Colour Primer Matt Black spraypaint

No human being is so far from the light of God that they should have to use these spray paints.

You may be at the FLGS for paints and you may think, “Hey, this is pretty cheap” or “I have reached the stage in my hobby life where I don’t want to give money to GW” or “Army Painter is the only line with the right color in stock.” The problem is that you will definitely get more value out of simply doing nothing and not spraying your miniatures with Army Painter Colour Primer Matt Black, because then you won’t have to immediately dunk the miniatures in isopropyl alcohol and scrub the shit out of them to remove chalky, uneven paint substitute.

Beginners commonly make the mistakes of using Rustoleum or spraying in high humidity. Army Painter Colour Primer Matt Black will somehow give you a worse result than doing both of those things at the same time. I would show you the worse result here, but I had to immediately dunk the miniatures in isopropyl alcohol and scrub the shit out of them.

Army Painter gets a lot of affection in certain quarters because they’re not GW and because their stuff is cheap. Most of their products are perfectly fine-ish and do the job of being budget hobby supplies. The spray paint is irredeemable. It’s always there on the shelf, and you always think, Surely it can’t fuck up every time. Today it will be different. It is never different. Army Painter Colour Primer Matt Black is a blight on creation.

Instead of a blight on creation, I recommend: